Friday, August 22, 2014

Film #62: The Last Stand (2013)

Plot - If I had realized Johnny Knoxville was one of the film's stars, I wouldn't have put it on. There's barely any character motivation behind anything, with simple things like a quick handshake signifying that two guys are BEST OF FRIENDS. The reason they don't have time to make anything meaningful is because there are tons of shitty CGI action scenes that evidently needed more screen time.

Form - Crappy. The action scenes have that weird shakey camera effect that action films do nowadays. Shaking a camera doesn't make things look real, it makes it look like the camera guy has problems.

F/X - CG and all around bad.

Acting - Most of Arnold's action scenes involve him driving a car. Why? Because he can barely move!

Mise en scene - Brown.

Quotables - Here's Arnold's new catchphrase for the 2010s: "I'm the sheriff." That just goes to show how generic and diluted entertainment has become. Nobody would have given a shit if the Terminator ran around saying "I'm the Terminator." Or all these other great potential phrases: "I'm the barbarian." "I'm the Quaid." "I'm the cop." "I'm the twin." "I'm the dad." Whoever wrote that dialogue is an asshole.

Cool stuff - No.


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